Wednesday, February 27, 2008

how to avoid online scams, swindles, rorts and rip-offs - Top 10

The world’s scammers and fraudsters have gravitated to the Internet, and it’s very easy to get caught. To help protect consumers, the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) has released a very informative little black book of scams to help identify scams and suggest tips on avoiding them. Here are the top ten online swindles, rorts and rip-offs and how you can avoid them.

1. Lotteries, sweepstakes and competitions

The scam: People are lured by the excitement of a surprise win and find themselves sending huge amounts of money overseas to claim fake prizes.

How to avoid it: Keep this in mind - you cannot win money or a prize in a lottery unless you have entered it yourself, or someone else has entered it on your behalf. You cannot be chosen as a random winner if you don’t have an entry.

2. Chain letters and pyramid scams

The scam: Chain letters and pyramid schemes promise a large financial return for a relatively small cost. Pyramid schemes are illegal and very risky—and can cost you a lot of money.

How to avoid it: Ask yourself if I am not selling a genuine product or service, is participation in this activity legal?

3. Golden investment opportunities

The scam: Offers, usually via spam, to invest in high-risk money-making schemes promising ‘risk-free investment’?

How to avoid it: Be wary of investments promising a high return with little or no risk and avoid the ‘get rich quick’ pushers. Generally, the higher the promised return, the higher the risk of loss involved.

4. Betting and computer prediction software

The scam: Usually offered to individuals who love (delete the s in loves) gambling. Promises accurate prediction of results, but when the software does not function properly, you can’t get a refund.

How to avoid it: Gambling is a game of chance, and chance is hard to predict. Don’t be tempted to buy software that promises to predict accurate results of betting games, but why would these individuals sell this software and not just it themselves to earn money?

5. Money transfer request

The scam: Also known as "advance fee fraud", this usually takes the form of an email requesting for your assistance to transfer money on their behalf in exchange for commission. You will be asked to provide your bank account details and ask you to pay certain taxes.

How to avoid it: Don’t send money or give your credit card details to someone you don’t know and trust. Ask yourself the question, is it really safe to transfer money for someone you don’t know.

6. Banking, credit card and online account scams

The scam: Using new technology to steal bank account details and other personal information. Can either be phishing or the use of email to get bank account details and personal information, fake fraud alert, or the use of email or telephone to inform you that something has gone wrong with a particular account you own, and card skimming or the copying of credit card information from the magnetic strips.

How to avoid it: Don’t click on links attached to email or send your credit card and personal information through email or to an unknown website. Likewise, don’t give out your personal information over the phone.

6. Spam

The scam: Spammers send spam email to randomly selected email addresses attached with malicious software that attacks files stored in personal computers, without owner’s permission.

How to avoid it: Don’t reply to spam emails even to unsubscribe as this informs the spammer that your email address belongs to a real person. Ask yourself the question if you suspect a spam email, will I risk the security of my computer?

7. Mobile phone scams

The scam: Using phone calls or text messages to entice you to call a certain number which could charge you premium rates for call and text messages. Before you know it, you’ve consumed air time rates on your mobile phone service network.

How to avoid it: Never reply to a call or text messages from a suspicious number registering on your mobile phone call log. Don’t call back phone numbers starting with 19, chances are you will be charged with international call rates.

8. Health and medical scams

The scam: Offers various health and medical procedures or products that promise to help you cure an illness or lose weight, or offers cheap drugs and medicine.

How to avoid it: Don’t trust unsubstantiated claim about a certain "cure-all" wonder drug and always ask for published medical and research papers support the medical claims.

9. Psychic and clairvoyant scams

The scam: Offers secrets to success and wealth and claims to have the sure path to good fortune and money and yet charges money for services done.

How to avoid it: Don’t fall into the psychic powers because of curiosity or peer pressure, the psychic is a complete stranger and doesn’t know you at all. Ask yourself, am I putting myself, my family and friends at risk by acting on the random advice of stranger?

10. Dating and romance scams

The scam: Takes advantage of your romantic and compassionate side by befriending and enamoring you until such time that you’re besotted by them, , before asking you for money. Normally happens on dating sites and online social networks.

How to avoid it: Don’t trust anybody you meet on the web unless you’ve met them personally and have spent quite some time knowing them. Participate in legitimate and secure online dating websites only.

Top Ten Places to Visit Before You Die

On your deathbed and want to know what you need to see on this mortal plane before you kick the bucket? These are the top ten places you have to visit before you travel to that cloud in the sky (or pit in the ground). The Pyramids and the Sphinx, EgyptYou have to visit this amazing place, one of the Seven Wonders of the World, the Great Pyramid of Giza.The Great Pyramid of Khufu (or Cheops)The Pyramid of Kafhre The smaller Pyramid of Menkaura. There are three main pyramids in Giza: Each Pyramid is a tomb to a different King of Egypt. In front of the pyramids lies the Sphinx (or Abu al-Hol in Arabic, "Father of Terror"). Carved out of a single block of stone, this enormous cat-like sculpture has mesmerized millions of visitors.Santorini, GreeceSantorini is one of the Cycladic islands, created by the eruption of the volcano. (Thought by some to be the famous island of Atlantis). Due The Island has a versatile landscape with steep rock formations, lush beaches and small white villages. It also boasts remnants from the old Roman including baths, theatres and markets. Santorini is a group of islands in a circle about 10 KM across - the rim of a large volcano that is still producing small islands in the centre. Settlements are scattered around the islands as a series of small villages. The famous white buildings are huddled close to one another on and over the cliff of the central caldera. Hiking paths and trails lead all over the island, but an interesting time can be had walking the paths that connect the settlements, talking to the friendly locals and exploring the shops.Stonehenge, England

Stonehenge is a well-known stone monument located on a world heritage site in Salisbury Plain, Wiltshire, England. The site as is quite large and contains many other structures from the Neolithic period and the Bronze Age. Stonehenge is considered one of the most archaeologically rich sites in Europe, with many Neolithic and Bronze Age finds. It is also the site of one of the biggest Chalk grassland reversion projects in the world. Stonehenge has been occupied since around 8000BC with early work at Stonehenge beginning in 3000BC when an outer ditch and embankment was constructed, and standing timbers erected. From about 2500BC, Neolithic and Bronze age man started to bring Bluestones and Sarsen stones from Wales and the Marlborough Downs, it was completed in 1600BC. A nearby hill fort was built during the Iron Age, and there is evidence to suggest that the area was extensively settled by the Romans. The reason behind the structure still remains a mystery with many theories developed to explain the phenomenon.ItalyItaly has a lot to offer its visitors. Italy is a modern country with deep Roman Catholic roots, full of interesting stuff for the casual tourist and even more for the educated visitor. In the north, next to the Alps and the flatlands of the Po river, both cultural jewels and highly developed industrial cities attract. In Lombardia's capital Milan, city of haute couture and business, you can easily spend weeks without being bored. Bergamo is only an hour away and has an upper Old Town. The most famous tourist attractions in the north-east are Venice and Verona, that both let you think of romantic love affairs. To discover the beautiful landscapes around, for example, the Verona province may be even more fascinating. For wine lovers, Piemonte is directly connected with Barolo and Barbaresco, the most famous wines made out of the Nebbiolo grape. Piemonte's capital, Turin offers more than just a starting point to visit these wine regions. Lots of museums, modern art, book and music fairs make Turin one of the leading Italian cities concerning cultural life. The coastal region of Liguria is another highlight.The Riviera delle Palme has no reason to envy its French counterpart. Beaches, countryside, the right climate and old towns like Genoa make this region a must to visit. The Lunigiana region, Albenga and Ceriale are worth a visit and an even longer stay. Gourmets should not miss the Emilia Romagna, Italy's culinary centre. Bologna, "La Grassa" like the Italians say, is a must see as well as Ravenna with its impressive mosaic works and the Byzantine architecture and last but not least Rimini, on the Adriatic Sea. For Tuscany words fail to describe its beauty: You have to go there to see, smell and experience the beauty of the old towns and lovely valleys yourself. Florence, Lucca, Pisa, Prato and Siena, offer more cultural highlights than some countries as a whole. The way of living does the rest to attract every year millions of visitors. Elba, the island of Napoleans first exile, is only one of seven Tuscan Archipelago islands.Rome, The Eternal City, with its monumental palaces, churches, squares, and fountains still fed by aqueducts with ancient water sources, has to be visited by every Italy traveler. To discover Rome, "A lifetime is not enough". Campania has attracted visitors over the centuries: Capri, Ischia, Sorrento and Amalfi became the chosen destinations of visitors from many countries. Sicily the largest island in the Mediterranean has been influenced by the culture of the Greeks, the Romans, the Arabs the Normans and many others. For those who enjoy walking and climbing, go to the Dolomites, this is the Mountain range in Northern Italy that sperates it from Austria and extends westwards to join the Alps. Major centres include Cortina, further South and West is Arco and a few kilometers from the Northern tip of Lake Garda.Loch Ness, Scotland Loch Ness is the largest of three lochs located in the Great Glen which divides the North of Scotland along a line from Fort William to Inverness. The loch is large by British standards, being 23 miles long and a mile in width, and averaging 600ft in depth. Its catchment is hilly and wet, and is drained by 6 major rivers which flow into the loch. It contains over 2 cubic miles of fresh water, and the River Ness outlet, although only 5 miles long, is one of the greatest in Britain for average flow and of course is the home of the famous monster of lore Pyramid of the Sun and Moon, Teotihuacán
Towering and mysterious, the Pyramids of the Sun and Moon rise above silent Teotihuacán, an empty city that once bustled with as many as 200,000 people and stood at the center of Mexico's pre-Hispanic empire. Erected by a virtually unknown culture in the first century B.C., the city sprawled over an area larger than imperial Rome. But by A.D. 750 it had been abruptly abandoned, perhaps because of disaster or drought. Five hundred years later the Aztecs came upon Teotihuacán -- with its pyramids, temples, apartments, and ball courts -- and adopted it as a center of pilgrimage. At roughly 210 feet high, the Pyramid of the Sun ranks as one of the largest pyramids in the world. (It is about half as tall as the Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt.) The builders raised the Pyramid of the Sun around A.D. 100, somehow transporting and erecting three million tons of stone, brick, and rubble without benefit of the wheel, beasts of burden, or metal tools. In 1971, archaeologists found a previously unknown entryway some 320 feet long that leads to a cave directly beneath the apex of the pyramid. At one time the cave held a natural spring, and there are still piles of charcoal in the chamber -- perhaps indicating ceremonies involving water and fire. No one knows, although scientists enjoy speculating.Incan Ruin - Machu Picchu, PeruMachu Picchu, The lost city floating in a kingdom of clouds, high in the Andes Mountains of Peru, a mysterious settlement that the Incas built, occupied, and deserted, all in less than a century. For hundreds of years the city was hidden in the jungle. Then, in 1911, Hiram Bingham led a university expedition to the Peruvian Andes. On a valley floor along the Urubamba River, he met a farmer who guided him up to the ruins of the hidden city, the only Incan site that hadn't been looted or destroyed during the previous four centuries. Machu Picchu spans a mountain saddle between green jungle peaks. The settlement has only 200 residences, suggesting a population of about 1,000 people. The city contains a large number of religious buildings that were constructed with great care. One of them, the Temple of the Sun functioned as an observatory focused on the heavens. A mark cut on a rock at the center of the tower lines up, through a window, with the exact spot where the sun rises on the June solstice. In the temple's recesses the Incas placed religious statues or offerings. Another small cave at Machu Picchu served as an observatory for tracing the December solstice. Ritual religious bathing may have been done at the Fountains, a series of 16 small waterfall baths where the sacred focus may have been water. But the principal shrine at Machu Picchu was probably the intihuatana, the "hitching post of the sun", a stone that the Incas may have used to observe the heavens and mark the seasons. No one knows for certain how the stone was used. Near the settlement lie other intriguing sites. The Intipunku, or Sun Gate, is a notch cut in a mountain ridge that frames the rising sun during fixed periods on the calendar. The famous Inca Bridge is located along an ever-narrowing mountain trail that, at some places, is cut into a sheer cliff. The builders cleverly left a gap in a buttressed section of the trail that they could bridge with two logs. As needed, the logs could be removed to make the road impassable to outsiders. Perhaps it is no wonder that this nearly inaccessible mountain city remained hidden and unknown to outsiders for centuries after the Incas abandoned Machu Picchu. The Golden Pavilion, JapanThe pavilion is probably the most recognizable temple in Japan as it is entirely covered in gold. Shining in the light, the Golden Pavilion, or Kinkakuji, looks like beautiful jewel box. In 1950, a disturbed Buddhist temple novice burned the 14th-century pavilion to its foundations. Within five years, however, the Golden Pavilion rose again. On the new roof, appropriately, perches a phoenix. The pavilion was originally built as a retirement villa for the shogun Ashikaga Yoshimitsu, who, after withdrawing from public life, exercised power in the background by installing his ten-year-old son as shogun.When he died, his retirement villa was converted into a temple, in accordance with his wishes. The much-admired pavilion rises in three stories, each having a different architectural style and reflecting a different aspect of the shogun who built it. The first floor is a residential palace, complete with a covered dock for the shogun's pleasure boat; the second is a Buddhist prayer hall or samurai house; and the third is a small Zen temple with sliding doors and bell-shaped windows. Set on pillars, the Golden Pavilion extends over the pond, a popular design of the Shinden style during the Heian period of Japanese history. A person approaching sees two pavilions, as the water reflects the image. On the exterior of the graceful building, a layer of shimmering gold leaf creates an unforgettable picture.Bimini: The Road to AtlantisFamed American psychic Edgar Cayce predicted that evidence of the lost continent of Atlantis would appear in the Bahamas in 1968 or 1969. In 1968 pilots photographed structures that looked like buildings, walls and roads under the waters off of Bimini Island. Others have claimed to have seen pyramids and stone circles on the sea bed, but the only thing that has been confirmed for sure is what has become to be known as the Bimini Road. Skeptics claim that the Bimini road is merely a unique natural formation. There is no denying, the "roads" are straight and look man made.IcelandIceland was settled in the 9th century by Norse Vikings. The first settlement and major city is Reykjavik. Reykjavik has a bustling nightlife, an exciting arts scene, and offers visitors the opportunity to explore the countryside in short trips to areas such as Thingvellir, Gullfoss and Geysir. If you are interested in nature, Iceland is a great place to visit. The terrain in Iceland is so rugged due to centuries of volcanic activity; this is where the US tested their lunar landing module that eventually drove on the moon. Because of Norse woodcutting and volcanic activity, there are virtually no trees on the island. There is one small "forest" that is a national landmark. Iceland, Greenland's neighbor, benefits from the gulf and jet streams with huge 100mph winds constantly blowing, being sustained for more than a day. Most travelers go to Iceland in the summer, however, Iceland in the winter is equally as beautiful, and there is the added bonus of less tourists and tones of snow. The interior of Iceland is not assessable in the winter months but the ring road is always passable, but careful driving and a 4WD is needed in the ice and snow. Over the Christmas period there is hardly any traffic on the roads in the South and the drive from Reykjavik to Vik is stunning. Glaciers, mountains, volcanoes and countless waterfalls keep the six hour drive interesting. Hofn is a good place to stop to explore Iceland's biggest glacier. Better still, Hoffell is a remote town close by, which, is very close to the foot of the glacier. In Hoffell you can also find naturally heated hot tubs, perfect for sitting in to watch the northern lights away from any artificial light, if the conditions are right.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Top ten Gadgets for Germaphobes

We are all so petrified of germs, we turn to the highest tech to get rid of them, every last one. But that's not going to be easy. In sheer numbers, there are 20 times more creepy crawlies in your body than cells. Heck, there are 500 species of bacteria, weighing 3.3 pounds, living in your gut alone! But those 90 trillion microbes living in and on your body right now aren't what should be worrying us. Many of them are vital to our survival, and we want to keep them around. However, sometimes malevolent invaders try to blend in with that helpful crowd of flora and fauna. Those villains are the ones we want to kill, so click Continue to discover the top 10 gadgets that'll help us do just that.

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10. VIOlight Toothbrush Sanitizer
Rearrange the DNA of those puny microscopic pests camping out on your toothbrush with the ultraviolet light inside this $49 VIOlight in either travel or home versions. Once you've illuminated those germs for ten minutes with various wavelengths of UV light, you'll have the cleanest toothbrush in town. Well, until you put it back into that potty mouth of yours.


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9. Just Plane Clean
When you're wedged into a flying tin can full of hacking, microbe-spewing meat puppets, you're going to need some heavy air filtering. Snap the Plane Clean Filter onto that ventilation nozzle above your head, and its stale breeze will still smell rank, but at least there will be a few less funky pathogens in the air. We have our doubts about this one; it'll cost ya $20 to be the guinea pig.


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8. Hands-Free Soap Dispenser
Your bathroom can be touch-free, starting with this $40 SimpleHuman Sensor Soap Pump. Let's hope it doesn't require some fancy macarena-style hand motions to get the flow started. Fill it up with Purell for more antibacterial goodness; rinse, repeat.


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7. Nanotech Dresses
These two cotton dresses, created by fiber scientists and a student designer at Cornell University, have metallic nanofabers sewn in, giving them remarkable germ-fighting capabilities. Not a single microbe can survive on these garments, and they never need washing, either. Yeah, make me some socks out of this stuff — we'll see if they never need washing or not. Too bad the material costs $10,000 per square yard.


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6. Zapper Kills Bugs Dead
You don't actually want to put your hands anywhere near those grimy houseflies, do you? This $13 Electric Bug Zapper is like a lethal Taser for any insect, testament to the cruel fact that if you're a bug, trespassing in someone's house warrants the death penalty.


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5. Germ-Killing Surface
You do realize that your hands are even more germ-infested than a toilet seat, right? Keeping that in mind, the loo will be many times cleaner than you when it's someday equipped with a nano particle surface made of titanium dioxide. Aussie innovators in the Particles and Catalysts Research Group at the University of New South Wales created the substance that not only cleans itself, it repels water, too. Still in the developmental stage, expect the sparkling surface to be coming soon to a water closet near you.


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4. Philips Sonicare FlexCare Toothbrush
Not only does this $100 Philips electric toothbrush sonically vibrate that plaque into oblivion, now the company has picked up on the ultraviolet bug-killing kick, too. Just pop those brush heads into the mini-tanning booth attached to the toothbrush's base, and all those nasty squirmy worms are cooked up like a lobster in a boiling pot.


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3. Lotus Sanitizing System
This $150 magic bowl turns ordinary H2O into superoxygenated water that can clean everything in your house, neutralize odors, kill microbes and even rid foods of pesticides. Cure all known diseases? Well, they're not going that far. Either dip whatever you want super-cleaned into the bowlful of cleansing water, or put that special water in a spray bottle to spread its goodness hither and yon. Sounds like snake oil. Does it work? Time magazine thought so.


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2. Halo UVX Vacuum
The $400 Halo UVX's ultraviolet bug-killing light not only smites mites and the ever-present dust bunnies to which they cling, its makers say it can even kill viruses. If it can do that, those common household bacteria and common rug funk should be no match for this snarling, wheezing, purple-illuminated beast.


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1. Samsung SilverCare Washer
Using nanotech to release molecules of silver into your wash water, Samsung says this washer kills 99.9% of "tested bacteria" (whatever that is), even when using cold water and no bleach. Consumer Reports says the $1400 washer's SilverCare setting actually made some stinky t-shirts smell a whole lot better than those washed the normal way, but it took an extra 6 to 24 minutes per load to release those magical bug-killing silver nanoparticles.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Top ten BitTorrent Tools and Tricks

BitTorrent is the go-to resource for downloading everything from music and movies to software and operating systems, but as its popularity continues to grow, so do the number of tools available for making the most of it. Some are must-haves, while others are a waste of time. Climb aboard for a look at 10 of the best BitTorrent utilities, tools, and resources for finding and managing your BitTorrent downloads quickly and efficiently.

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10. Use BitTorrent to Send Files

Of course BitTorrent is a great place to go looking for files, but you can actually take advantage of BitTorrent’s distributed download protocol to share your own files. This guide details how to create your own torrent to distribute a file on your computer. The guide covers creating the torrent with the popular, Windows-only uTorrent, but the feature is available in almost any BitTorrent client.

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9. Start BitTorrent Downloads Over IM

Using IM applications like Pidgin or the Mac-only Adium, you can set up your IM client to automatically accept downloads from specific users (namely, you) and then save the file to a folder that your BitTorrent client watches for new torrent files (in Pidgin you'll need to go to Tools -> Plugins and enable the Autoaccept plugin). Most clients like uTorrent (Windows) and Transmission (*nix) support folder monitoring, so if your BitTorrent client is running it'll detect the file you've sent yourself and automatically start downloading the torrent. This method doesn't allow for very advanced remote management (like #5 below), but if all you want is a quick method for starting a new download, it's quick and easy.

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8. Download BitTorrent in Your Browser

I’d always recommend using a dedicated BitTorrent client whenever you can, but sometimes installing or running another app just isn’t an option. In those cases, web application BitLet is a perfect solution. It runs BitTorrent downloads through an applet directly in your web browser; all you have to do is point it to the torrent file. (Read more)

You can even stream music directly from a torrent in your browser with WeStream, BitLet’s other in-browser BitTorrent tool. (Read more)

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7. Manage Your Video Downloads with Miro

Cross platform, open source application Miro is designed as a one-stop shop for handling video—whether that's video podcasts or BitTorrent. It doesn't have all the tools available to less specialized clients like uTorrent or Transmission, but it does work well to automatically download a season’s worth of television while it’s happening. (Read more)

6. Speed Up Your Downloads and Outwit Your Traffic-Shaping ISP

Whether you’re new to BitTorrent or you’re just not getting the download speeds you were hoping for, you can take steps to speed up your downloads by capping your upload speeds, adjust your connection allowances, or switch the default port. (Read more)

Sometimes a slow connection is the result of intentional BitTorrent throttling by your internet service provider. In addition to switching the default port your BitTorrent client is using, there are tons of other methods—like turning on encryption or adjusting the way your client behaves—that can help fool your ISP and speed up your downloads. (Read more)

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5. Remote Control Your BitTorrent Downloads with uTorrent’s WebUI or Transmission’s Clutch

You're gaga for BitTorrent, and these two tools let you control and manage all of your BitTorrent downloads from the comfort of your web browser—no matter where you are. Both applications can handle almost any feature of the desktop version (and both look very similar, as well). Just find the one that fits the operating system you're using and get started with your remote access. uTorrent even has a special web interface for the iPhone.

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4. Set Up a TV Season Pass with Ted or TVShows

Whether you opt for Ted (all platforms) or TVShows (Mac OS X only), these apps ensure you’ll no longer need to dig for the latest and greatest episodes of your favorite TV shows week after week. You just point them to what you like, and they automatically download new episode torrents as they become available.

3. Search the Best of the Best with YouTorrent

youtorrent.pngRather than get into an argument over the best torrent tracker/search engine, might I instead submit YouTorrent, a meta search engine that scours some of the best BitTorrent trackers for downloads and sorts the results by number of seeds. I know it's new, and who knows if it'll last (it doesn't even have ads yet), but—god willing—YouTorrent is currently the easiest place to look for a new, healthy torrent (barring some really good private tracker that most of us are not members of). (Read more)

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2. Transmission

(Mac/Linux)

The go-to BitTorrent client for Mac users, Transmission has that Mac feel that makes you want to go out and pirate download some Creative Commons-licensed content. It’s popped up already a lot in this list, from its torrent folder monitoring to it’s snazzy remote control features, so if you’re looking for a great client for your Mac, Transmission is the best on the market. (Read more)

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1. uTorrent

(Windows)

It’s unfortunately Windows-only for now (that may change sometime this year), but uTorrent is bar-none the best BitTorrent client you’ll find. It’s fast, lightweight, and full-featured (as you’ve seen above). If there’s one Windows application I miss when I’m working away from Windows, uTorrent is that client.

Top Ten Awesomely bad movies from the 80's

From a time long forgotten. A time when big hair and ripped jeans ruled the streets. When Michael Jackson was someone to look up to. A time when break dancing was rampant. This time was known as "The 80's". And from the 80's came some of the worst movies of all time.


I have compiled a list of the most awesomely bad movies of the 80's. These films were some of my favorites as a child growing up. I like to relate them to driving past a car pile-up, you don't want to see what you are seeing but you always slow down to look. This was going to be a Top Ten List but # 11 was to dear too my heart to let go.

so without further delay lets look at the top eleven awesomely bad movies of the 1980's. And remember, except for #2 I like these movies.

WARNING: SPOILERS ARE INCLUDED IN SOME OF THE DESCRIPTIONS OF THE FILMS. IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANY OF THESE MASTERPIECES AND ARE INTERESTED IN VIEWING THEM DON'T READ ANY FURTHER!!!

#11 THE STUFF (1985)

Directed by Larry Cohen
A weird yummy goop erupts from the earth and is discovered by a couple of miners. They taste it and decide to market it because it tastes so good, and makes you feel good as well. The American public literally eats up the new dessert known as The Stuff but, unfortunately, it takes over the brains of those who eat it, turning them into zombie-like creatures. Also another side affect is that it can kill you! Yogurt! Either by eating you alive from the inside-out or by simply covering you(suffocating) you to death.

It is up to ex-FBI agent David Rutherford and a kid named Jason(of course) to stop the spread of the mind-devouring dessert. It seems to me that if a national trend is causing people to die that more than just one kid and an FBI agent would respond to this. I guess they didn't want to make it a dull movie (Mission not accomplished).
The rest of the movie consists of face meltings and some very poor acting. I will admit that the face meltings are pretty cool. I just have a hard time believing the FDA would allow a yogurt like substance that can control your body onto the market, at least not without testing it first.


#10 THE TOXIC AVENGER (1985)

God do I love this horrible film!!! I own three versions of this it. That doesn't save it from this list though. It's the first film from Troma(King of bad movies) on my list, and it is The Toxic Avenger. Young janitor Melvin, a 98 lb weakling, is tricked into wearing a tutu and falls into a open barrel of toxic waste that's in the back of a truck that was passing by(don't ask, just accept it). The waste turned Melvin into "The Toxic Avenger" the first super Hero from New Jersey. With his new super size and strength he brings to justice those that caused his mutation, falls in love with a blind babe, and kills the mayor of Tromaville. The first movie that I know of to feature a death by a mop(and boy are they numerous). Dan Snow should have won an Oscar for his portrayal of "Cigar Face",a name that makes me laugh even today, who also plays the most insane cop I've ever seen in Toxic Avenger 4: Citizen Toxie. This movie is terribly gruesome and completely lacking of good taste. That’s why I love it so much. This movie is a must own for those who either: Love 80's flicks or awesomely bad movies(or both).


#9 RAWHEAD REX (1986)


WOW, is this a strange one. Rawhead Rex would actually be a good movie , if the special effects of the monster were not so incredibly horrible looking. I mean these were just awful. There is one scene in the trailer park at night when Rawhead is killing a lot of people that his eyes are glowing red and chasing people….to their doom! Besides this scene the monster looks like a remote controlled mask on a weight lifters body. With the death of the main hero’s(David Dukes) young son at the hands of Rawhead, the movie shows it is a no-boundaries slasher 80’s flick. It seems that old Rawhead can't harm a woman for some reason but males are open game. The ending is a joke, Some stone held by a woman shoots out cheesy special effects that kill Rawhead. I might sound like a broken record on this one but holy crap are the special effects bad. I am embarrassed to say that this movie scared the crap out of me when I was eight years old. Definitely a prime example of “The book is better than the movie”.(Clive Barker wrote the novel).


#8 976-EVIL (1989)


Directed by Robert Englund
Basically put, if you call 976-evil on your phone, ext. 666, you gain supernatural powers that somehow cause your death. Let me say that again, you call a 976 number and you get demonic powers!!! More specifically a boy finds card containing a Satanic phone number, boy meets girl, boy’s cousin finds number and uses it to kill girl and lots of other folks, boy’s cousin then turns into a hell spawn, and boy must save the day. No, it isn’t particularly scary or even very startling and it certainly doesn't make any sense, but it is rather gross in spots. Calling a 976 number for demonic powers, who thinks this crap up anyway? Oh that’s right…Freddy Krueger.


#7 BASKET CASE (1982)

Now this movie is a treat. Duane and his mutant Siamese brother Bilyle kill a lot of people in this cheese fest For it's time though the special effects were pretty good. For it's time mind you.
the seemingly innocent Duane Bradley arrives in New York City's Times Square accompanied by a wicker basket within which is something both disgusting and destructive. You guessed it! he's carrying his mutant, telepathic twin brother in a big basket. actually they were Siamese twins, separated against their will and seeking no prisoners taking revenge on the doctors who surgically parted them!

Of course, it falls upon Duane to keep his brother well-fed, and the basket-dweller's appetite ranges from hotdogs to hookers, with plenty of lowlife, skid-row snacks to be found in the seedy motel they wash up in. Naturally enough an assortment of new yorkers find themselves sliced and diced and the mysterious resident of the wicker home is later revealed to have been rescued from the rubbish bin before their father was sent on his way to greet his maker...seriously he was thrown in the trash.

With the two horrible sequels that followed it this one EARNED it’s spot on this list. The other two are just running off the fumes of this OG of awful “Twin brother is a mutated head with arms that used to be attached to my side until some doctors separated us and now mutant brother is crazy” movies.


#6 DEATHSTALKER (1983)


Now why would I (in 1983) go see a good action movie like The Return of The Jedi, when I could see this agonizing barbarian movie that looks like it took place in northern California? The warrior Deathstalker is tasked by an old witch lady to obtain and unite the three powers of creation - a chalice, an amulet, and a sword - lest the evil magician Munkar get them and use them for nefarious purposes.


After obtaining the sword, Deathstalker joins with other travelers going to the Big Tournament to determine the strongest warrior. The false king takes hold of a kingdom and holds the true princess in captivity, and then plots to have Deathstalker killed, and Deathstalker must fight to free the princess, blah blah blah. But what the movie(and all of it’s sequels, I’m thinking 9 of them) is really about is women in little to no clothes. This actually is a movie that will make you laugh in parts, but definitely a rental not a purchase.

sorry honey but shielding your eyes will not help you

#5 APRIL FOOLS DAY (1986)
“Why don’t you tell us something about yourself?”
“Okay…I want to work with handicapped children. And my parents are my best friends. Oh, and I start convent school next semester. And I f—k on the first date.”
-actual quote from the film

a group of college students getting together for a spring break weekend. Muffy (Foreman, and no, I didn’t make that name up) invited them all to her luxurious island summer home for her birthday (which happens to fall on April 1st), for a couple of days of fun, friendship, and practical jokes.
Then in the ferry ride to the getaway one of the kids gets crushed between the boat and the dock. That’s not going to stop the partying though. And as the weekend goes on more and more kids die in typical horror movie style, until just one remains. Then to her surprise all of her friends were not dead, but in fact playing a April fools joke on her!!! Totally lame because some of the deaths in the movie could not be faked in real life. And to add to the confusion the last scene shows our Muffy getting what looks like her throat slashed by a stranger. Biff from Back to the Future plays a character in this flick but he is the only noticeable person in the cast.

#4 CLASS OF NUKEM’ HIGH (1986)


Another Classic from the good people at Troma. Tromaville high school is our setting here, and the story centers around several of its attendees. Tromaville high is complete with ridiculous stereotypes and students who appear to have a median age of 25 in real life. In other words, it's more or less your typical all-American high school of the 80's, except for the fact that it's right next to a nuclear power plant. I'm talking about across the street from a nuclear power plant. The plant's head honcho, Mr. Finley assures the citizens of Tromaville that the plant is completely safe, but some students of Tromaville high are starting to mutate. The school's honor society have transformed into a horde of gutter punks who call themselves "The Cretins" and unassuming scrawny little nerds are vomiting up green stuff and hurling themselves headfirst out of closed windows (A common accurance in Troma films.)
The Cretins start to sell "atomic pot" grown right on the plant's grounds and a student named Warren(I guess you could call him the hero) finds out the story behind the super powered weed, and tries to destroy the Cretins. The problem is that Warren is a dorky little nobody and the Cretins are some evil bastards. But due to nuclear radiation, Warren starts taking on a vindictive alter ego. Warren now has disposed of a couple of the Cretins' baddest dudes. But Chrissy, Warrens girlfriend is also experiencing some odd aftereffects from the pot as well, as she gets pregnant and then spits up a creepy little monster into the toilet. Of course, someone flushes it down the toilet. The Cretins get pissed at Warren for killing some of their boys, so they plan to lure him into certain doom using Chrissy as bait.

However, there are more intimidating things in the school at this point, including Chrissy's own mutant-spawn, which has reached full size and is now a gigantic radioactive killer monster living in the school's bowels. You can pretty much guess the rest of the plot from here. This is a horrible film, but funny in the fact that it doesn’t take it self seriously. In fact it makes fun of itself a lot.


#3 GARBAGE PAIL KIDS: THE MOVIE (1987)
I have an idea, lets take a series of disgusting trading cards and make them into a horrible movie. Good Idea!!


I loved garbage pail kids as a child so I liked this movie. I watched it a lot when I was young….until it disappeared. The story of the frighteningly bad movie is as follows: Dodger, a skinny dork, works for the "magical" Cap'n Mancini, an antique storeowner with a suspicious garbage pail in his basement. When Dodger accidentally overturns the pail, a greenish ooze oozes out which formulates itself into seven Garbage Pail Kids (actually little people in trashy costumes): Valerie Vomit, Ali Gator, Greaser Greg, Nat Nerd, Windy Winston, Messy Tessie and Foul Phil, all named after their various afflictions.


It seems that Dodger has a thing for Tangerine, a frizzy-haired hottie who makes and sells clothes for a living, but has NO interest in him; her boyfriend is a psycho who wears too much eye makeup and spends his days beating Dodger up. But when the Garbage Pail Kids design a Napoleon suit for Dodger to wear that's supposed to make him look cool (it doesn't), Tangerine suddenly sees Dodger in a different light. And in an typical eighties-style, she puts him into service making clothes for her by coming onto him, and he cracks the whip on his "friends" the Garbage Pail Kids to produce clothing. Basically a Garbage Pail Kids sweatshop.


It all comes down to a fashion show. In the meantime the Garbage Pail Kids escape from the confines of the Cap'n's basement, terrorize a bar and movie theater, and eventually get themselves locked in a cage at a zoo for ugly people, with the label "TOO GROSS" plastered across the bars. Not to worry, though, because Dodger has solicited the help of a gang of bikers who break them out, allowing the Garbage Pail Kids to crash the fashion show and deal with its corrupt patrons in various gross ways: Windy Winston farts into the crowd, Valerie Vomit pukes on one of them, etc. In the end you wonder why you just spent the last 90 min or so watching midgets and a kid doing weird and gross stuff.
Mackenzie Austin (then a regular on THE FACTS OF LIFE), was the star appeal of this movie

kinda looks like Gene Simmons. God these things freak me out

#2 BREAKIN AND BREAKIN 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO (1984)



Both released in 1984 and counted as a single film according to this list. Kinda like Kill Bill, only these are terrible. To explain the plots of these movies is like describing the plot of a porn film. I mean that the movie is just scenes leading up to another dance scene(just like porn is just scenes leading up to more love scenes). I think part 2 is about a community center that is getting torn down and the only way to save it is to dance up the walls to the ceiling and having a dancing drive for money.


Granted the dancing is cool but these movies are just plain awful. I mean just look at this guy. Shame on you if you Like either of these films. Try Krush Groove, now there is a good flick. These two are just the "you got served" of 1984. terrible. I do laugh every time it's on TV. so I guess it's not that bad. And who can forget the oversized boom box craze? Do people still do that? Or have iPod's totally taken over?


#1 SURF NAZIS MUST DIE (1987)

Here it is folks, the worst of the worst. Again another film from our friends at Troma, God bless them. This movie does NOT take itself seriously, please remember that when viewing this film. SURF NAZIS MUST DIE takes place in a post-earthquake near future, where the beaches have been overrun with gangs of surf punks.
Run by a guy named Adolf, the Surf Nazis recruit at a young age, and paint swastikas (often backward, but whatever) all over everything. They also don't like minorities (or for that matter, anyone.) And that’s the big draw back to the movie-the extreme racism but then again they are Nazis.
The Pipeliners ,a rival gang , try to eliminate them, but fail at this task. The Nazis just seem superior: they have better equipment (surfboards with switchblades built in!) and dirtier fighting techniques (they even beat trained samurai.)

For the most part, the Nazis have free reign. They drive around in their shark-mouthed van, steal purses from old ladies, and bash the heads of people they don't like(Another common accurance in Troma films). A man by the name of Leroy Washington tries to thwart the actions of the Nazis one day, and meets a gruesome fate as a result. But while Leroy may have just seemed like just another victim to the Surf Nazis, he winds up being the worst mistake they ever made.

You see, the Nazis weren't counting on Leroy to have a vindictive, bloodthirsty grandma(a middle-aged, obese black woman named Eleanor Washington), who breaks free from her nursing home to build up an arsenal to get revenge for the loss of her grandson. Before you know it, she's not only hauling around a HUGE gun, but a collection of explosives as well.

Hilarity ensues. And I mean that. Mama is worth watching this by her self. The climax comes in a scene in which we quickly learn what happens when you get run over by a speedboat. Ouch.
SURF NAZIS MUST DIE is a bad movie. But it's that special type of bad movie that should be witnessed by everyone.




Well that’s it folks! Hope you enjoyed my list and any other movies you think should be on the list let me know. Here are some Honorable Mentions that almost made the list:

Saturday the 14th (1981)- a spoof film sure but wow is it bad
Saturday the 14th II (1988)- it’s better than the first one but still worse than Gigli
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)- need I say more?
Motel Hell (1980)- u check in but…well you know….get turned into chili????
Dead Poets Society (1989)- I hate whiney, the world sucks kind of people and this movie is their anthem
Dirty Dancing (1987)- wouldn’t hate it if I had to watch it only once, I like a good love story every now and again, but after the 534th time I want to punch Patrick Swayze in the face and throw Baby off of a cliff. Any boyfriend to a GIRL in America has to agree with me on this one.
Howard the Duck (1986)- I think Lea Thompson’s song “Howard the Duck” at the end put this one over the top
Yentl (1983)- did anyone actually think Barbara Streisand looked anything like a boy in this film, me either. Worse sexual conversion movie ever, including White Chicks
Hairspray (1988)- No words can express how bad this movie is
Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)- part II was awesome so why does this one suck so bad
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)- whales can save the planet, what kind of hippy crap is this? Time travel by warping close to the sun?
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)- the rest were ok until insurrection
The Terror Within (1989)- Andrew Stevens at his finest, he fights a guy in a monster suit…. I mean a mutated monster. No I don’t mean George Kennedy either
Gymkata (1985)- some strange stuff here. A town of crazed Europeans attack the contestants of this race(?) to marry the king's daughter(?) or something. Reminds me of Resident Evil 4, maybe Capcom stole the idea for Resident Evil 4 from Gymkata( just kidding)
The Gate (1987)-only because a heavy metal record played backwards opened the gate to hell.
Night of the Demons (1988)- worst Halloween slasher ever made
CHUD II: Bud the CHUD (1989)- not that the first one with Daniel Stern and John Heard was any better.
The Re-Animator (1985) an immortal classic were Jeffery Combs acts up a storm as the Re-Animator. A Must see!!!
Bronx Warriors (1982)- post apocalyptic new York complete with desert biker gangs and shirtless savages
Cannibal Apocalypse (1980)- The Title explains it all.
Goulies (1985)- Little demons killing people, apparently no one knows how to "kick", cause I would punt one of those things 30 yards.

To purchase any of these films go to Amazon.com or IMDB.com
to rent try Netflix.com
Try Netflix anyway though, it is awesome and it has good movies from the 80's too!!!!

All dates referenced by Leonard Maltin’s 2004 Movie and Video guide. I trust him more than any web site or movie critic.

By Dr Science